Last Update 12/31/07

Webster defines abuse as: to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way; to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about; revile; malign. Webster's definition is targeted toward the mental attitude of anger, the behaviors associated with anger, and the cause of anger.

"Spiritual Abuse" is verbal, emotional, spiritual, and/or physical harm done to Christian believers by "so-called" spiritual leaders. These spiritual leaders use their position of authority in the church to coerce, manipulate, and control. This type of abuse can be subtle, complex, and hard to discern, sometimes not detected until the damage has already been done - with good reason, because church leaders are usually believers, well meaning people, with good intentions. However, sometimes it is more obvious, especially when the coercion, manipulation, and control are laced with anger and/or wrath.

Spiritual abuse is the same as any other abuse: verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual. Spiritual abuse is merely abuse of power in the context of Christian fellowship. What is so devastating about spiritual abuse than these other forms of abuse, is that the perpetrators are representing the God of the universe; they are people we go to for help, counsel, guidance, direction, support, and love. When leaders who represent God are abusive, it can have a great impact on our view and perception of God and His church.

Spiritual abuse occurs in all religions and in all Christian denominations.

Rejecting - experiences in which an individual's presence, value, or worth is not acknowledged or recognized by another individual; communication to another individual that they are worthless and/or inferior to others; devaluing one's thoughts, feelings, experiences, etc.

Isolating - this can range from the extreme of physical confinement of another individual to lesser forms of isolation, including limiting one's freedom within their environment and/or restricting normal contact with others.

Degrading - identified as behavior that negatively influences the identity, self-worth, and dignity of another person; this may involve name-calling, ridicule, insults, intimidation, and condescending commentary.

Exploiting/Corrupting - exploitation of another person for one's own advantage or profit; socializing another individual to accept ideas, behavior, etc. that opposes legal standards and/or crosses personal boundaries.

Terrorizing - ongoing threatening behavior or commentary towards another individual such that intense terror or fear is induced; may involve elements of coercion by intimidation.

Denying Emotional Responsiveness - occurs when an individual fails to provide care and concern in a sensitive and responsive manner to others; this may occur when an individual interacts only when necessary, is uninvolved and detached, and ignores another person's emotional and/or physical needs.

God Still Loves You! If you or a loved one is hurting because a church leader has treated you badly, remember that God still loves you and wants to heal you and restore you to a loving Christian fellowship.

Rebellious, fleshly, carnal Christians have harmed you. Even though they hold positions of authority in the church, they do not represent a true image of God. They do not express how God really wants to relate to you. They have perverted God's truth.

The truth is that God loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for you so you can have an abundant life here and eternal life with Him. The truth is that God Himself wants to walk and talk with you everyday, throughout the day. The truth is that God wants you to fellowship with other believers who are committed to loving and caring for you. The truth is that other believers want to walk with you through this life while supporting and encouraging you.

The truth is that you are not alone. Many other believers have suffered as you have. The good news is that you can meet with others who have suffered at the hands of abusive church leaders and work through the pain. They will help you heal and find joy and peace in your life.

The truth is that your "bad" experience may have taught you a lot of lies and deceptions about God and your relationship to Him and His church. You can learn how to identify these lies and to replace them with His truth. The process will set you free from the bondage of pain and suffering, so you can live a successful, victorious Christian life.

"Spiritual Healing" comes from working through your pain, suffering, and distortions of truth while meeting with people you can trust, people you can feel "safe" with, and people with whom you can share your experiences.

Are you feeling alone, confused, fearful, shamed, guilty, hurt, devalued, questioning your salvation, wondering if you can live up to God's expectations? Have you left a local church, or even walked away from God because of a bad church experience? Have you been falsely accused, manipulated, coerced, and controlled, or blamed for talking about church problems? Then you have experienced spiritual abuse.

Help: You can meet with other Christians who have experienced spiritual abuse and get help dealing with the pain and suffering you have experienced.

Contact:

THE NEW TESTAMENT PSYCHOLOGY INSTITUTE
P O BOX 9201
MESA, ARIZONA 85214-9201

© 2007 by Jerold L. Reed All Rights Reserved

Contact the New testament Psychology Institute for special permission to copy and distribute this information.